2008, Life to me begins at this year.I have grown as a person. Though in many ways I’ve descended onto the Devil’s path. My oh my, 2008 has been an intoxicating year to say the least. It is a year of many firsts. It is a year of discovery, and also a year of loss. It is a year of immense joy, but also a year of deep sorrow. It is a miracle that experiencing emotions so contradicting and so intense has not killed me.

New Year 2009 is around the corner. That means another round of partying. Happy 2009 to all! Let’s see what’s in store for me next.

Pictures of me in Dec 08….

With Luna in AEON Bukit Indah, JB

Danga Bay

With Piqut and Yun [BP Mall]

Alien’s day out [BP Mall]

With Luna [KLCC]

My everything.

Hey guys, I have finish the so called ‘most nervous exam‘ ever, my OSCE exam. OSCE stand for Objective Structured Clinical Examination, which is like a practical test for medical students. For my OSCE 7, there were 4 stations. Each station test the clinical skill that I have learn.

1. Sensitive case

2. Endotraceal Tube Insertion (memasukkan tube oxygen kedalam saluran pernafasan ke atas patient yang tidak sedarkan diri untuk membantu pernafasan patient)

3. Nenonatal resuscitation (Membantu bayi yang mempunyai masalah selepas kelahiran)

4. Eye examination (Check mata lah ngok!)

Overall were Ok. Except for my sensitive case. Patient problem: berumur 40tahun, curiga pregnant, but at the same time, she is also as penasihat Keluarga Berencana (Family Planning). The patient always asked me, ‘doc, gmana sy mo jelasin ke masyarakat pentingny KB pdhal sy sndiri pregnant??, gmana masyarakat mo percayakan sy?’, Duhhhh payah si mb’e. itu aj jadi masalah kq mb! heheee.. I was so blur and couldn’t make up a word when she’s saying. My Indonesian languages pon macam berterabur sahaja tadi. T____T

Right: Endotracheal Tube / Left: Neonatal Resuscitation

Felt so relax and happy afterwards. Hopefully the result will be better.At least, we’ve had a reasonable amount of practice. Good news is, It’s OVER! But the bad news is, result is yet to come.. *sigh*

Anyways, I am so looking forward for tomorrow’s evening!! I will be in Malaysia for a couple of week. Can’t wait to go back home and sleep on my comfy bed. Not that I don’t like it in Jogja, but i miss everything! This time, I will bring my Indonesian friend along with me. hoorey!

Finally I’m going to Happypuppy again. After a long time of no mic singing with Dr Azili and Dr Yanto(No more abang-abang title lagila since they are officially become a doctor) . Yes, I’m really looking forward to this outing. It’s been a long time since I had the chance to sing with them. Singing out loud or you might call it screaming was definitely fun!!

Totin Citra Lestari feat Yanto Lasso. lol!

p/s: Eekin jangan jealous!

Not to forget, a very happy birthday to Hafiz Sasuke(20th) and Maliha Idayati (21st). May God bless you with lots of good things in life. Sadly, I’m not in Malaysia to celebrate with you. =(

I found this from Alyssa’s Fb notes. It’s kinda funny, a full translation from Indonesia-English

- HI JOHN, I WANT TO CUT CONNECTION US
(hi john, saya mau putuskan hubungan kita)
- I HAVE THINK THIS COOK COOK
(saya sudah memikirkan ini masak masak)
- U CORRECT CORRECT MAN CROCODILE LAND!
(kau benar benar pria buaya darat!)
- I DONT WANNA SICK MY LIVER FOR 2 TIMES
(saya tidak mau sakit hati untuk ke 2 kali)
- THIS RIVER I FORGIVE U, NEXT RIVER I KILL U!
(kali ini ku maafkan, lain kali kubunuh kamu!)
- FROM YOUR FRUIT LIVER, INEM
(dari buah hati mu, Inem)

p/s: Children Fruit = Anak Buah. ??

This is one of my favorite song of all time but I can never get all the way through it without shedding a tear. This song tells my feeling. It touches me..

Christina Aguilera – Hurt –

Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud you were but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today
–
I would hold you in my arms
I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you’ve done
Forgive all your mistakes
There’s nothing I wouldn’t do
To hear your voice again
Sometimes I want to call you but I know you won’t be there
–
I’m sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn’t do
And I’ve hurt myself by hurting you
Some days I feel broke inside but I won’t admit
Sometimes I just want to hide ’cause it’s you I miss
You know it’s so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this
–
Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me?
Are you proud of who I am?
There’s nothing I wouldn’t do
To have just one more chance
To look into your eyes and see you looking back
–

I’m sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn’t do
And I’ve hurt myself
If I had just one more day, I would tell you how much that
I’ve missed you since you’ve been away

–
Oh, it’s dangerous
It’s so out of line to try to turn back time
–
I’m sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn’t do
And I’ve hurt myself
–
By hurting you

Well, I don’t have that much to say besides. My mood is never good when it comes to exam mode. Listen to the song and read the lines. Hope you all enjoy it!

p/s: Happy Birthday Nanie Mk!

Countdown: 5 days to go. Home sweet home.

Hai. My name is Totin. I am a stalker freak or ‘cyber-stalker’. Haha. Yes I am proud of it. As long as worth it and interesting for me. ;p

A short conversation;

Me: Hey. U kenal XXX?
A: KENAL!
Me: Mana u kenal?
A: He is.. bla bla bla. She is bla bla bla. Why?
Me: He is bla bla bla with my bf bla bla bla. She is bla bla bla.
(Highlight: Look at HE and SHE.)
A: I rasa kita STALK orang yang sama!
Us: *Evil laugh*

Omigod I can’t believe that!

Stalking can sometimes be a good thing. But sometimes it may hurt me. To all my blog stalkers, I am calling you out! Just drop me a quick comment! I just curious to see who all out there that adore me much.

Ok bye-bye. I am going to go and stalk YOU now!

myBIGsecret: I stalk almost 20blogs every week. I don’t comment but I enjoyed reading their blog. muahaha!

Related with this entry, my stalker partner.

I have been talking to a few friends lately. The one things that keeps popping up from them is about the matter of heart. Lonely, breakups, heartless (takde hati) and love is crap or whatsoever. They all belong in the same age group. My advice is just,

Please stop thinking about how your life feels empty because you have not found the other half!
.
.

Yes. Falling in love is the most wonderful thing a person can have but break ups are the total opposite. It is always one party that decide to call it off… due to whatever reasons given. “My feelings have changed”, “I feel trapped”, “I’ve found someone else” and the list goes on.

I remember my first time I got dumped. I had cried and cried as ages. I had been sad for the longest time ever. It was the worst feeling ever. Can’t eat. Can’t sleep. Everything seems so wrong. I stop going to the place that reminds me of him. I wish I could just crawl into bed and stay there for the rest of my life. It took me 2 years to forget him. I have chosen not to keep in touch with him, due to my personal reasons. But I do acknowledge if he ever text or message me in ym.

I have pined for a useless idiot before. I have felt empty before. I have wondered when my Knight in Shining Armour will come and rescue me. . I guess I shouldn’t have started going out with the guy in the first place, knowing what kind of guy he is when it comes to falling in and out of love. But again, who was I to argue with the feelings in my heart? I’m someone who follows my heart instead of my brain when it comes to matters of love..

And now, I know there is more to life than pining, whining, waiting and bitching. I meant it when I said I am not proud of my past, but I am glad of what I learned from it all. I am not proud that I couldn’t portray and give the very best me to my bf, but I am glad that he loves me for me. The way I AM now.

So to all my ’single’ friends ( YUN, Cikanot, Ee-kin, Kakd, Nora, Sarra, and many more), don’t give up for finding that special one. But don’t go hunting for that person either. Just relax. Enjoy your life and one day he’ll come knocking on your door. The grass may seem greener on the other side. Trust me! =)

Short conversation with me and F.

IYEKE?

Well, I’m finally off kronikus.com and so far it’s been awesome. In the past few weeks, the performance of kronikus has been simply terrible. I know it’s not because of kronikus itself. It just the Indonesia pesatnet doesn’t support it. *sigh*

Now, I’m hosted through fzone hosting and it seems to be pretty good. They have a nice admin console that lets me do what I need and the price is right, it’s only RM60=Rp150k, for a good amount of bandwidth. Additionally, they are also domain registrars so they have a nice package deal. I looked around at other hosts, but they were all a bit more expensive or required year long commitments to lock in decent prices.

Furthermore, I am using a new version of wordpress (wp 2.7). It looked pretty nice but yeah, the new site did seem very bloated and confusing. I don’t know why, but I feel lost on the page. I like the current one. hmph!

p/s: To anyone who have linked me in your blog, drop your link here for me to link you back.